Manipulate: to control, or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one's own advantage. I had a very bad experience from a dating website and I thought it was fair to share. It was something that so riled me that I just wanted to get up and tell someone about it. I have an overall belief that people are inherently good and most people are kind. I know, I live in a dreamers world but hope for the best prepare for the worst.
I had a man message me who the conversation seemed to be okay in the beginning but it became quickly apparent to me that there was something wrong. I was ready to end the conversation and be done with it but he persisted. I being curious wanted to see what would happen so I went along with it. I watched how I phrased my words and I was kind, even when he was not. I say this because this was all through IM. I have a record of how the conversation went and I look back at it to see just what it is that causes this phenomenon called "Manipulation." He was kind at first but then he set a challenge, which for anyone who knows me knows that I can't turn down a challenge.
From nice to mean, mean to nice this man tried to play that he was the one who was being hurt by the things I was saying. Also be reminded this occurred all in one day, usually it takes a little time for people to show their true colors, his were quite obvious. I got to the point where I thought the conversation was done and put aside the IM to go about my daily life. Three hours later when I decide to check it he had messaged me again, a few times. At this point I was done and was going to tell him so when he decided to ramp it up and drill me on my whereabouts. At this point, I was really done and told him so, nicely of course because that's just me. I was then insulted again because he was a great christian guy and I was just too something to see it.
I share this because it disappoints me, that one; a person would call themselves a Christian and act in such a way that is hypocritical to the name. I'm not saying that I am perfect but I try to live a godly life and act in such a way that people see that even if I didn't do the right thing at that moment I am trying every day. Secondly, it makes me sad because these are the men that are out there now. I was hurt by someone very much like this because I was young and naive and didn't see the signs then. I see them now, I know that the type of life that leads to is painful and scary.
Overall, the reason that I share this is because in one day, one conversation I was able to see what happened in my life over a span of 8 years. I was able to see that all rolled up into one and identify it for what it was. So if you ever have to ask yourself, what did I say? What did I do to make him so mad? To make her so mad? Take a look back and if you can honestly look at yourself and not see what it was then look at the person across from you. It's men and women both who can be manipulative and controlling, I have learned my lesson the hard way. I lived like this day after day, always questioning myself because I didn't realize what was happening. Now I know. So I "Bottled" it, put it in a nutshell for others to see because no one should live that way.
I had a man message me who the conversation seemed to be okay in the beginning but it became quickly apparent to me that there was something wrong. I was ready to end the conversation and be done with it but he persisted. I being curious wanted to see what would happen so I went along with it. I watched how I phrased my words and I was kind, even when he was not. I say this because this was all through IM. I have a record of how the conversation went and I look back at it to see just what it is that causes this phenomenon called "Manipulation." He was kind at first but then he set a challenge, which for anyone who knows me knows that I can't turn down a challenge.
From nice to mean, mean to nice this man tried to play that he was the one who was being hurt by the things I was saying. Also be reminded this occurred all in one day, usually it takes a little time for people to show their true colors, his were quite obvious. I got to the point where I thought the conversation was done and put aside the IM to go about my daily life. Three hours later when I decide to check it he had messaged me again, a few times. At this point I was done and was going to tell him so when he decided to ramp it up and drill me on my whereabouts. At this point, I was really done and told him so, nicely of course because that's just me. I was then insulted again because he was a great christian guy and I was just too something to see it.
I share this because it disappoints me, that one; a person would call themselves a Christian and act in such a way that is hypocritical to the name. I'm not saying that I am perfect but I try to live a godly life and act in such a way that people see that even if I didn't do the right thing at that moment I am trying every day. Secondly, it makes me sad because these are the men that are out there now. I was hurt by someone very much like this because I was young and naive and didn't see the signs then. I see them now, I know that the type of life that leads to is painful and scary.
Overall, the reason that I share this is because in one day, one conversation I was able to see what happened in my life over a span of 8 years. I was able to see that all rolled up into one and identify it for what it was. So if you ever have to ask yourself, what did I say? What did I do to make him so mad? To make her so mad? Take a look back and if you can honestly look at yourself and not see what it was then look at the person across from you. It's men and women both who can be manipulative and controlling, I have learned my lesson the hard way. I lived like this day after day, always questioning myself because I didn't realize what was happening. Now I know. So I "Bottled" it, put it in a nutshell for others to see because no one should live that way.
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