Stronger than You know

I had the opportunity to see a concert of Heather Layne a week ago. I wasn't sure I would be able to make it because of work but my schedule worked out just for that day. When you sit in a room and you realize that the only way you got there was by God you pay closer attention. Her story brought tears to my eyes and made me realize something about myself and it brought me healing.

I have been lifted up by so many around me. They tell me I am strong, that I am doing so well. I have had my moments where I feel like I can't go on, I feel like I am being overwhelmed. I have been so blessed in my life to get a new job and I have school. I try so hard to do things right and to be perfect in all that I do it does not always help me. 

I don't know what happened to me, I don't know when I became this perfectionist. When I demanded so much of myself that it all had to be perfect. I have to do my job just right, I have to be the best, to learn faster, to do better than others. The same for school, I have to make good grades, I have to be the best in class. That is not including me as a mother, I have to be the good mom, give my kids what they need, let them have good experiences in life. It's exhausting.

The truth is I don't do this on my own, the only way I find the strength to do what I do is through God. The funny thing is even when I am down he knows how to pick me up. In one day I won two things that I wasn't even expecting. One of them was a book called Cause Within You by Matthew Barnett. God has a plan for me, he has placed a cause in my life and now he is giving me the tools to do it.