Solutions for life

I've been guilty of going to those I know and asking their opinion, finding out how things work in their life and trying to fit it into the situation I'm going through. When I say I'm guilty of it, I mean I'm more like an expert at it. Some of my blogs have been first heard by my closest friends through relentless questioning. Because I am naturally curious at everything I will research things to death. I don't always have time to read novels but I do read plenty of articles on the internet in my research. Tip of the day, don't believe everything you read on the internet. You have to weigh the good and the bad, and take the information given with a grain of salt. In this age of access at our fingertips we could take any subject and try to find the answers on the internet. You won't find them there, and the more you look, the more you get confused. 

I would often start a conversation with, "I was on the internet" and a groan would come up from the other side of the phone. "What did you find this time?" The truth is that not all information is bad, not all is good. The problem is when we take everyone else's information and advice and try to make it our own. 

I have felt for some time that I should write this blog, mostly for my own good. I find myself looking up topics online that don't lead me to the right places. I'm not saying I go around looking for things that are bad, but the views that they bring out, don't always reflect what I should be thinking. I have a book that has more useful information in it then any of these articles. The problem is there is no direct solution for exactly what I am going through. I've checked. The difference is, this book has guidance and solutions that will stay with me for my entire life and if I follow it, all these things I have questions about will fall into place. 

This book, (the Bible) if you weren't aware by now has been very helpful. It doesn't give me the exact situation, but it's got the best information. I have so many times prayed for what God wants me to do in my life and where my life is headed. The most important thing is what I felt lead to do when I started praying about it a year and a half ago. I was called to be a light in the darkness, see John 1:5. I was called to share my story and tell others about what I've been through and what God did for me, see Acts  1:8. I was called to be a mother to my children and woman of God, see Proverbs 31:10-31. I am called to show grace and forgiveness because I have been forgiven, see Romans 3:23-24. 

I try to seek God's will and what he wants me to do in my life. I keep praying and seeking, there is no exact word on what I am supposed to be doing. If life were that easy then everyone would be doing the right thing. I can't tell you what my future is going to look like in 3 days, 3 months, or 3 years. I hope for what it could be, but I keep moving forward, pressing on to the final goal. Hebrews 12:1-3.

Where are you going?

Everyone asks the question, what are you doing with your life? What are your plans for life? Where do you see yourself in the next 5 years? If anyone has all of those questions figured out then you can stop reading right now. 5 years ago I was emotionally recovering from my second miscarriage, I realized I needed a change in my life and even started losing weight, down to 215 before I got pregnant with my daughter. I was living in Chandler with my husband, son, and Grandma Joan. I thought that life was okay, we had a house and good paying jobs, even though I knew mine wouldn't be around much longer.  I thought it would be easy to get a job similar in pay to what I was making, boy was I wrong.
5 years ago, if you had asked me where I was going to be I wouldn't have told you here. I worked for a computer company and was pretty good at solving problems, and thought I could continue that way. I had dreams of updating the kitchen and getting an SUV, my dream car. As far as direction in my life I don't know that I really had any, I didn't know where I was going. The only thing I knew is that my life wasn't going in the right direction and I had to change.
January 2nd 2008 I stood in my shower facing at the time the hardest thing in my life, a D&C. My miscarriage was not complete and since my body didn't cooperate naturally I had to go in and have surgery. I had this last minute thought that maybe they were wrong and maybe it would be okay after all, however all hope was lost after the pill took effect. It made things start happening, and it devastated me. I didn't want my life to keep going the way it was going, I cried out to God, then and there.
Life changed and moved, I now have a beautiful daughter born a year later and I couldn't imagine my life without her. Grandma Joan past away, leaving us with an empty spot in our homes and hearts. The weight started to fall off and gave me passion and direction. I went to school and learned so much more about myself. I began to see myself as someone of value, and realized that I wasn't being valued. My eyes were open to what was happening in my life, and I was no longer safe in my own home.
I thought that things would work out differently, that things would change and life could be the same again. I moved in with my parents and what I thought would be a few weeks turned into months, 9 to be exact. I found a job that I was interested in and I was able to make it on my own.
So if anyone can tell me they know exactly where they are going to be in 5 years, kudos to them. We will catch up in 5 years and see where you are. I have plans, I know what I would like to be doing, if my life continues on the same path then I have direction and I'm not going to wander aimlessly.
A man's heart deviseth his way, but the Lord directeth his steps. Proverbs 16:9 KJV. It's not bad to make plans and have a 5 year, or 10 year, but ultimately things change, some beyond our control, some for better, some for the worse.
The story of Ruth has been on my heart for a while, and I can't say for sure why but I had a revelation when I was doing my bible study this morning. What if instead of using Ruth 1:16-17 as a declaration to another person, why don't we do it to God? Where you go God, I will go, where you stay I will stay,  your people will be my people, You God are my God, may you deal with me ever so severely if anything but death separates me from you. It's the cry of a willing heart, she couldn't have known in her 5 year plan her husband would die, that her mother in-law would head back to her homeland. She couldn't have known that she would be great grandmother to a king. We go our own way, we make our own plans, things change. I have a 5 year plan, I have ideas of what I want to do in the future. The cry of my heart will be that of Ruth, that God will lead me, that where he calls I will go, I will love the people he loves, and put Him first in my life.

"Proverbs 16:9." Holy Bible KJV. N.p.: Thomas Neslson, 1970. N. pag. Print.