Saturday, March 2, 2013

Why me?

I'm just an ordinary girl, at least that is what I think about myself. I haven't done anything great or marvelous, nothing more outstanding than anyone else. There is nothing that really sets me apart from anyone else. It took me a while to come to terms with that. I wanted to be different, I wanted my life to make a difference, I wanted to be remembered. In a way we all want that, for someone to know our name when we pass on. When I was a child I wanted to be the youngest novelist, or a famous singer; I wanted to be known. Things have changed, I have children of my own, a regular job, and a house payment.
There is a thought that lingers still, that my life has more purpose and meaning, that's yet to be fulfilled. I wish I could tell you what this is, if I did then that would mean I know what I'm doing, which I don't. I live my life each day, determined to be better than the day before, constantly learning and growing. I wish I was disciplined enough to finish all the things that I want to accomplish.
In my youth group the question was asked if you had only two words to describe you what would it be? It took me a few to think about it, I wanted to say accomplished, but I couldn't, what have I really done? I ended up using the word gifted, I have many gifts, I can sing, write, play the piano, and I speak in front of a crowd well. So here I am with these gifts and what am I doing with them? Why do I have these gifts unless it was to use them?
Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in it's various forms. 1 Peter 4:10 (NIV)
We all have different gifts, things that make us set apart. I haven't done anything great but I share my gift where I can, the way God has ordained. I'm not famous, nor am I anyone spectacular; however the God of this universe saw fit to choose me. He chose me for a purpose, with all my failings, the mistakes of my past and imperfections, He chose me.
Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go forth and bring forth fruit; and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you. John 15:16 (KJV)

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