How many times has the statement sprouted wings out of my mouth, I will never do that, I will never be that mom, I will never….fill in the blank. Never say never, that's what I've always heard, because when you say never, it's like saying do it. I had plenty of things growing up and all through my life that I could tell you I would say never to. My act of rebellion is what it ended up being and I see myself becoming and doing some of my never will's.
I was raised in Scottsdale, most people hear that and automatically think I was raised in a high society neighborhood and was rich. That's not how it was, I grew up in a trailer park for many of my years. I didn't really think of us as poor but I knew we couldn't afford things that other kids could. We got hand me downs for clothes, and didn't get to go out to eat at fast food joints. I thought as a child I was being deprived, I didn't want to end up where I started, I wanted a better life then that.
I told my mother a number of things growing up, that I would never spank my children or discipline them the way I was, because that was just unfair. I would never do house work because I would have a maid. I would never homeschool because why not just send my kids to public school. I would never be like my mom because she wasn't cool enough.
Basing my life on the never will's put me in such a small window of the world, that I was missing out. I wanted to be the rich city girl, shop in the high fashion shops and have all the things that I wanted. I started getting all those material things that I wanted and realized, they didn't fulfill my life. They were only things, status on the outside. It's not about the status symbol, it's not about what anyone else thinks of my life, it's about where my heart is.
I've learned that some of the never will's were pretty immature, as most of us grow to learn. I find joy in hand me downs and thrift shops, free or inexpensive clothes are better then worn out. Having a maid is not all it's cracked up to be, not that I've ever had one but most people who have someone coming over to clean end up doing most of the cleaning themselves, what's the point of that? I didn't want to live in a home that seemed beneath me, when the reality is, home is home, regardless of size, shape, or place. Home is what you make it.
Life is full of too much to say never. I can say I never pictured myself where I am today, maybe in a moment of deja vu but that would be all. I couldn't imagine I would find myself enjoying the wide open spaces of the country. I didn't know I would find so much pleasure just looking up in the stars at night. I didn't think I could find happiness in the unexpected.
As the New Year comes upon us I remember my pledge, to live each moment, enjoy each day. If we are too busy saying never, thinking of all the things we don't want to be or turn out like we waste our moments. I would rather think of all the things I could be learning, doing, and seeing. I don't want to say never, but I'd rather not take another moment for granted.
I was raised in Scottsdale, most people hear that and automatically think I was raised in a high society neighborhood and was rich. That's not how it was, I grew up in a trailer park for many of my years. I didn't really think of us as poor but I knew we couldn't afford things that other kids could. We got hand me downs for clothes, and didn't get to go out to eat at fast food joints. I thought as a child I was being deprived, I didn't want to end up where I started, I wanted a better life then that.
I told my mother a number of things growing up, that I would never spank my children or discipline them the way I was, because that was just unfair. I would never do house work because I would have a maid. I would never homeschool because why not just send my kids to public school. I would never be like my mom because she wasn't cool enough.
Basing my life on the never will's put me in such a small window of the world, that I was missing out. I wanted to be the rich city girl, shop in the high fashion shops and have all the things that I wanted. I started getting all those material things that I wanted and realized, they didn't fulfill my life. They were only things, status on the outside. It's not about the status symbol, it's not about what anyone else thinks of my life, it's about where my heart is.
I've learned that some of the never will's were pretty immature, as most of us grow to learn. I find joy in hand me downs and thrift shops, free or inexpensive clothes are better then worn out. Having a maid is not all it's cracked up to be, not that I've ever had one but most people who have someone coming over to clean end up doing most of the cleaning themselves, what's the point of that? I didn't want to live in a home that seemed beneath me, when the reality is, home is home, regardless of size, shape, or place. Home is what you make it.
Life is full of too much to say never. I can say I never pictured myself where I am today, maybe in a moment of deja vu but that would be all. I couldn't imagine I would find myself enjoying the wide open spaces of the country. I didn't know I would find so much pleasure just looking up in the stars at night. I didn't think I could find happiness in the unexpected.
As the New Year comes upon us I remember my pledge, to live each moment, enjoy each day. If we are too busy saying never, thinking of all the things we don't want to be or turn out like we waste our moments. I would rather think of all the things I could be learning, doing, and seeing. I don't want to say never, but I'd rather not take another moment for granted.
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