Where I've been

At my heaviest weight

 I was watching the Extreme Makeover weight loss show and it made me think about all that I have been through. It's been a long journey and I have lost a lot of weight. It's hard to see when you look in the mirror and you see the flabby skin and even 5 pounds can make a difference.
My heaviest that I know for sure was 228 pounds with a BMI of 39. I weighed 219 for a long time and I didn't weigh myself because I knew I wouldn't like what I would see. Looking back at the picture I don't even recognize that face. The person in the picture is not me, it's someone from another lifetime.

196 pounds

 I knew my life was heading in the wrong direction and I wanted to do something about it. This picture is when I was starting to lose weight by extreme exercise and calorie counting. I lost about 20 pounds but it wasn't the life change that I needed. If I hadn't lost the 20 pounds my pregnancy with my baby girl would have been a different story.
I was happy to be losing weight but I still hadn't dealt with the issues of what was causing the weight gain in the first place. This was before my daughter was born.

This milestone made me want to continue on my journey and lose more weight. I was still doing what I had learned and from the start of my journey I didn't count a single calorie. I was aware of what I was eating but I was no longer obsessed with how many calories were in each item.
It took a total of 8 months for me to lose the weight that I wanted before I got down to my goal weight of 130, which put my BMI at 22.3 and me in the normal range. Losing the weight made me feel better about myself and I was starting to get my confidence back.

Today, I have lost over 100 pounds and stay in the 120 range. I am able to run and play with my kids and enjoy life. I can sit in the car and have room on the seat left. I can share a recliner with my child next to me. It's amazing the things that have changed in my life. I am not perfect and I still struggle and 5 pounds makes a bigger difference today then it ever did. It's still hard looking in the mirror because I can't always see how far I have come. That's why I am writing this today. I have come so far, I don't ever want to go back. I forget how much I have done and get down on myself for a couple of pounds. I don't want that to happen, I want to enjoy life. I do pretty well with that but some times I forget.
 The confidence that I have now is wonderful. I am a beautiful person and I have a lot to offer. I can wear what I like, do my hair how I like and I can do almost anything. I can hike a mountain on a moments notice. I can run after my kids at the park. I don't have to worry about getting out of breath or wearing out. My life has changed completely and every bit of it is for the better. Where I have been is not where I am. There is no going back.

Today at 125