My world came to a stop when I learned that my god brother passed away. It was a possibility we knew because he had been fighting cancer for 8 months. It doesn't really make a difference if you expect it or not. It doesn't change the fact that he's gone now. I went about my day because I had to but it didn't seem fair. The world didn't stop, didn't acknowledge his passing, nothing had changed. I wanted to yell STOP! Just stop what you are doing and see what has happened.
I have had people in my life pass away before but never one so young. He was only a few years older than me. I remember as a teenager when I watched him play in the band. I thought he was so cool and I was cool just to know him. My heart breaks for him. I know that he is no longer in pain but it doesn't seem fair. He had so much to offer so much love to give and now he's gone. I prayed that he would get better, prayed for healing. It seems like God doesn't always work the way we want him too.
What is the reason? Why does a life have to be cut short? God never gives us more then we can bear. Matt went through a lot and cancer treatments take so much life away. Even still what about those left behind and the pain of losing him? It can't be fixed with words, reasoning or logic. It just doesn't make sense.
Its been many years since I last saw him but I was kept updated by our mothers. The day my Godmother called to say he had cancer I picked up the phone. I told her I would pray for him and I did. Even though it's been a while I find myself in tears. He wasn't some aqauintance that I just knew he was family. As long as I have been alive his mother has been my Godmother.
She is my second mom and I am glad to have her in my life.
As long as I live Matt will not be forgotten. I know that life must go on for the rest of us. I just need a little while to grieve, to remember the wonderful person that he was. Matt, this one is for you.
Matthew Ward
July 26 1981- July 13 2011
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