I have not had many words to write lately, that's because the ones I have been hearing have not been all that great. "We don't know what it is exactly." "Try this medication, see if it works." My life has been consumed by pain for a while now and I can tell you it's not fun.
As I sit here and type I can feel the pain in my arms. After my 4th trip to the doctor, an MRI, and blood-work they gave 3 possibilities of what it could be. None of them are particularly wonderful things, however none of them are life threatening.
I have had many differing opinions from friends and family. Ranging from "Is it in your head?" to "Are you sure it's not this?" While I appreciate the care and concern it's come to a point where I want to hide out and not talk to anyone. Have I thought about it being all in my head? Of course I have, when you have nothing definitive that you can see it's something you think about. Have I thought it could be something else? Absolutely, because I don't want to deal with this pain and the simple things would be awesome compared to the options I have been given.
After a scary day yesterday I was almost sure that I was losing my mind. I was sure that they had missed something big and I cried. Anyone who knows me well knows that I rarely cry. I don't like to cry, it's not particulary pretty, and it doesn't solve anything. I've been through a lot in my life, even though I would venture to say it's not as much as others. In my life there have been things that I would't wish upon anyone. I have cried, but for most of it I held it in. I had two miscarriages and I wasn't allowed to cry, to grieve the children I had lost. I have had pain but I was able to move forward.
I can't type much more because of the pain but there is one thing I can hold onto. God is my strength and he has promised that he will and can handle all of this.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
As I sit here and type I can feel the pain in my arms. After my 4th trip to the doctor, an MRI, and blood-work they gave 3 possibilities of what it could be. None of them are particularly wonderful things, however none of them are life threatening.
I have had many differing opinions from friends and family. Ranging from "Is it in your head?" to "Are you sure it's not this?" While I appreciate the care and concern it's come to a point where I want to hide out and not talk to anyone. Have I thought about it being all in my head? Of course I have, when you have nothing definitive that you can see it's something you think about. Have I thought it could be something else? Absolutely, because I don't want to deal with this pain and the simple things would be awesome compared to the options I have been given.
After a scary day yesterday I was almost sure that I was losing my mind. I was sure that they had missed something big and I cried. Anyone who knows me well knows that I rarely cry. I don't like to cry, it's not particulary pretty, and it doesn't solve anything. I've been through a lot in my life, even though I would venture to say it's not as much as others. In my life there have been things that I would't wish upon anyone. I have cried, but for most of it I held it in. I had two miscarriages and I wasn't allowed to cry, to grieve the children I had lost. I have had pain but I was able to move forward.
I can't type much more because of the pain but there is one thing I can hold onto. God is my strength and he has promised that he will and can handle all of this.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
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