Writing

I was challenged that I should be writing more in my blog. It's true, it's something I should be doing more of but sometimes life gets in the way. Along with working full time, going to school, homeschooling my kids, spending time with my amazing boyfriend, I am also working on losing weight and being healthy. 
Busy! My life is so busy. The good news is I needed an extra class for school and instead of taking basket weaving I am taking Creative Fiction. The class is something that is right up my alley. I have been writing fiction for years but I have never had any professional feedback. I was hoping that my Professor would be an author, but this was not the case. The feedback that I have gotten from my class is not what I expected. While I did get some I had more telling me that they loved my work. 
Does this mean that I have a real career in writing? It's always been my dream but with the amount of writers and books out there it's a hard thought that I could make a difference. Why would anyone pick my book over someone else's? These are things that I ask myself. I know that I have written things that I like to read and others around me enjoy. That's only a handful of people. I have self published two of my books and while they have reached a small market, they aren't huge hits. Both of them were written before the time I was 18 years old. I was so young! My writing and my writing style has changed since then. 
I tried writing a book that was loosely based on my life and in the end it didn't work. There was no end. I didn't know how it was supposed to end. I wrote, and wrote, and wrote. Pages of a book that has no point.  In the end it wasn't really about my life. I started a story with no point and that seems to be my issue. There are so many great ideas but if there is no ending how do you begin? 
I finally found a story that I have an end to. I can't tell you about it or you would never read it. It just came to me and I wanted to write it. I have been writing it for about a year and a half now. It's not over yet, but I've also started school since that time so my writing got stalled a bit. It's far from over, but it's not far either. Such is the curse of writing. You have the thoughts running through your head and you never want it to end. Once you put a story on paper it's out for the world to see. I have unlimited potential with my story, until it's done. When it's over, it's gone. It's like holding on to a dream. 
I am going to keep writing, even in the busy times of my life. It's not about the story itself, it's the need to write. We will see what next week brings and if I'm able to write in my blog. Perhaps I will keep it up. 
It's been a good 3 years of putting myself out for all to see. It's exhausting I tell you but I enjoy putting the words on paper. The sound of my fingers hitting the keys. I hope that those of you who read this enjoy it. Maybe, just maybe I may put a preview of my latest work out. 

What have I become?

As I write this blog my house still smells of the homemade whole wheat pancakes I made today. My oldest child is doing school work and my youngest is laying down quietly. Just less than a year ago I wanted to take time off of school, focus on my writing and to be a better mother to my children. I can tell you, this is not the end result I was expecting.
I've spent the last week looking for recipes that I could make from home. In effort to budget my money and maintain the health standards I have, I am being forced to bake. It's not a bad thing, and I look forward to it, the honest truth is though, this is not how I pictured my life.
I was one of those girls who wanted to have the world on a silver platter, I was going to live in a mansion and have a maid, who would cook and clean. I was going to be rich and famous so I wouldn't have to worry about money, ever. Then reality hit, like a brick wall, more than once.
Being a single mom was nothing I ever aspired to be, I mean really who does? Circumstances and bad choices led me to where I am now. I love my children, I'm glad I have them and they have taught me so much about myself. I don't even know how I became this person, it was something I kind of fell into.
I was a homeschooler growing up and I considered my family fairly normal, we didn't have a lot of money but we made it work. Then there were other families whose mom's made all their clothes, they dressed alike, and were never allowed to go to Children's church with the rest of the kids. Now I look at myself and see I've made it somewhere in the middle.
In a short time I've turned into someone the old me wouldn't recognize. A single mom, working full time, homeschooling, and a nutritionist. I want the best for my kids in education with one on one attention. The best for them in food with real food, not with so many ingredients that you aren't sure how they get the picture on the box. I am not a total stickler and my kids do get to eat foods that are processed, that's because I have to keep my sanity. What I can control, in my own house, the foods that we eat make a difference. I say this not to shame anyone, but when I look at food, at what it used to be and what it has become, it's not the same.
When I was studying nutrition I had to learn the break down of each food, of how carbs, fats, and proteins are broken down in the body. This is the last thing you want to know just before you leave for a cruise. Food no longer becomes about what the ingredients are but how much fat, how much protein, how many carbs. It's like the computer inside your head shows you the compounds, food no longer holds the same enjoyment.
I've heard some people say that I wouldn't want to live like that, I would rather enjoy my chocolate cake and die young. I can tell you I'm all for chocolate cake, if it was real cake. I have read labels, upon labels for different foods and it's frustrating. I was looking for bread that was made with basic ingredients, for whole wheat bread that was actually made with whole wheat flour. I only found bread at one store that had no chemicals in the bread, it was real bread. Peanut butter should be easy, peanuts, oil and salt, that's it, try and find it in your local grocery store, it will cost you. It's getting harder to find items at the store that doesn't have some type of chemical added to it. They say that it's to preserve the food, to make it better. Some are yes, but has it gone so far that we have to add it to everything?
Being a nutritionist makes me more aware of what I'm putting into my body, what I'm feeding my children. It means more baking, more cooking at home, but if I have to do that to eat the healthy foods we need I will. If you've made it this far I will give you this tip from a nutritionist, know what you are eating. I understand the need for convenience and budget, I have one myself. When it comes to food, simpler is better. It may cost more now, but how much is your health worth?