The littlest things can make you stop and reflect on your life. For me it just happened to be doing laundry, not the washing part but the folding part that most dislike doing. My children have suddenly decided to sprout on me and outgrow many of their clothes, which is the reason I was checking tags and eyeing arm and leg length on each garment. After a moment of panic at the amount of clothing I would need to replace I started to reminisce of when they were little.
Gone are the baby clothes, blankets, and many accessories that come with them. Perhaps its because of all the babies around me that I have suddenly started to notice. I'm going to be an aunt for the 6th time, any day now, my friend has a foster baby straight from the hospital, and with Christmas we remember the most important baby.
Babies and Christmas are hard for me, I love babies and I love Christmas, don't get me wrong. I am currently sitting with my fully decorated tree in front of me and Christmas songs on the radio, and I am blessed by the babies in my life. The hard part is something that will always stay with me at Christmas time and it's because of a choice I made 5 years ago.
Christmas eve of 2007 I sat in the ultrasound office, I knew that something was wrong. I was 7 weeks pregnant, two weeks earlier I had been there and seen the babies heart beat. I spotted all throughout the pregnancy and the doctor couldn't do anything but set the appointment to quell my fears. It didn't work however, instead it did just the opposite. The worst that I feared had come true, the babies heart beat had stopped. There was nothing more that I could do then go home and try and be strong for my little boy. I wasn't able to stop and grieve because life had to keep going.
I don't regret being strong for my son that Christmas, when I look back at all the things that were set in motion by that day I am thankful that I was able to go on. I would not have my beautiful daughter, born at Christmas time if I hadn't.
I have the comfort of knowing that even though I don't get to know my children here on earth I will see them in heaven. While my heart breaks for what I have lost I am so grateful for the children I have.
A baby changes everything, before he was born, before I knew him, that baby changed everything in my life. He was my Christmas miracle before I realized that I needed it.
Gone are the baby clothes, blankets, and many accessories that come with them. Perhaps its because of all the babies around me that I have suddenly started to notice. I'm going to be an aunt for the 6th time, any day now, my friend has a foster baby straight from the hospital, and with Christmas we remember the most important baby.
Babies and Christmas are hard for me, I love babies and I love Christmas, don't get me wrong. I am currently sitting with my fully decorated tree in front of me and Christmas songs on the radio, and I am blessed by the babies in my life. The hard part is something that will always stay with me at Christmas time and it's because of a choice I made 5 years ago.
Christmas eve of 2007 I sat in the ultrasound office, I knew that something was wrong. I was 7 weeks pregnant, two weeks earlier I had been there and seen the babies heart beat. I spotted all throughout the pregnancy and the doctor couldn't do anything but set the appointment to quell my fears. It didn't work however, instead it did just the opposite. The worst that I feared had come true, the babies heart beat had stopped. There was nothing more that I could do then go home and try and be strong for my little boy. I wasn't able to stop and grieve because life had to keep going.
I don't regret being strong for my son that Christmas, when I look back at all the things that were set in motion by that day I am thankful that I was able to go on. I would not have my beautiful daughter, born at Christmas time if I hadn't.
I have the comfort of knowing that even though I don't get to know my children here on earth I will see them in heaven. While my heart breaks for what I have lost I am so grateful for the children I have.
A baby changes everything, before he was born, before I knew him, that baby changed everything in my life. He was my Christmas miracle before I realized that I needed it.
Awe! Made me tear up!!! Your Nephew already loves you!! Now if only he would come out to show it lol :/
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