Missing Christmas

I can't tell you what I did two weeks ago, I barely remember that I had days off around that time. The hustle and bustle of Christmas overtook my life, not to mention all the other life events. Today was the first day in weeks that I was able to stop, take a breath, and look around. In all my effort preparing for the holidays I got so lost in it. It probably didn't help that my days were cut short by having to work the entire Christmas weekend (a known, yet hard part of my job).  When I was finally able to breathe, I was heartbroken over what I missed.

I spent so much time preparing for Christmas, shopping, doing Christmas crafts, cooking. In the end I felt like I missed Christmas. My family was amazing and did their best to spend the time they had with me. My children were upset at first, but they were easily distracted by cousins and presents. This was the first time I've been away from my family on Christmas and it was harder than I anticipated. We have done things similarly for years, so I can picture it in my head. The Christmas dinner, everyone gathered around the table, talking long after the food is done, the children begging to open presents. Finally, as it seems like ages to the children, the adults get up and make their way to the living room. The kids are ready to bust open the presents but must wait, for the reading of the story, to remember why everyone is gathered in the first place. Dad reads the story as the kids wait in relentless anticipation for him to be done. The story finished the prayer is said, the kids rush to the tree, hoping to hand out the presents. The older ones who can read get the job, and they try not to confuse the Grandparents with the Greats. Once the presents are past out the kids run to their piles, excited to see what's inside. They rush through with ooh's and ah's over the gifts they have been given. The adults take their time and are still going long after the kids are done. 

The presents open the kids rush off to play with their new toys and their cousins. They disappear, only to reemerge when something is wrong or it's getting dark. As the dark settles early, the games come out. Kids on the floor with one game and an aunt or uncle, others at the table with cards. The laughter can be heard throughout the house as Grandpa and Grandma look on with smiles. The fireplace gives the room a warm glow, making even the trashed wrapping remains look beautiful. 

The real truth is I didn't miss Christmas, I missed my family, I missed the atmosphere of the day. We've done Christmas other places, other ways, but the one thing that has always been the same is the love. I've never had a bad Christmas with my family, I've never dreaded seeing them. It's always a joy and a pleasure when I get to be around them. I am forever grateful for my family, for those who love me enough to be there, year after year, through thick and thin, even when times are hard. While I didn't get to share the magic of this Christmas, I am blessed with other wonderful memories I have made through the years.