It's 1am in the morning and I'm awake. I felt like doing something productive, I was thinking of going in the kitchen and baking something, not sure what just something. The issues with that is if I baked it I would want to eat it, and that's kind of an odd midnight snack.
The reason for the blog is that it's much less fattening, and I feel productive when I write. My last blog was a very emotional one for me. A couple of things I have learned about myself is that I am one of those girls who goes a little bit crazy once a month. It used to be that I would find it so annoying when that was something people threw out, like it was an insult. Insult or not, once a month I know that I am liable to get very emotional.
When I am that emotional it is very hard to make sane decisions. For one the tears and the drama don't convince anyone that you are currently at your peak decision making. However, there is one decision that I make once a month every month and I still haven't done it. This time, I am.
You would think that after a year or so of knowing that I need to do this and going through this every month that I would catch on. One thing that held me back was finances, but I'm trusting God on this one. Even though it will be tight I'm going to make it through with his help.
The making of this decision has greatly affected me. I find myself feeling free, free to be myself. There is no way to really say how this works but I know that now there is a light. There is more then just going through each day. When there is no vision the people perish; Proverbs 29:18. How little did I realize how true this is. If there is nothing to shoot for, no goal to aim for then what are we doing? Even a little goal can make a big difference.
I have another long term goal that I have started, and it's called College. Yep, here I go again. I'm excited because I want to get my Bachelors in something I love. Communication. It might seem weird, but from the moment I took my first communication class I loved it. I wanted to change my major then and there, and I should have. It took me a little while longer to get to the place of starting again.
It's not always going to be easy, and here I go juggling so many things. I could list them all but the thing is that I enjoy what I do. I enjoy my job. I love my kids, my boyfriend, my family. I love my church, my second family. I love writing. I love learning. These things help make my life full, and even with the stress and chaos of it all I wouldn't trade any of them.
The reason for the blog is that it's much less fattening, and I feel productive when I write. My last blog was a very emotional one for me. A couple of things I have learned about myself is that I am one of those girls who goes a little bit crazy once a month. It used to be that I would find it so annoying when that was something people threw out, like it was an insult. Insult or not, once a month I know that I am liable to get very emotional.
When I am that emotional it is very hard to make sane decisions. For one the tears and the drama don't convince anyone that you are currently at your peak decision making. However, there is one decision that I make once a month every month and I still haven't done it. This time, I am.
You would think that after a year or so of knowing that I need to do this and going through this every month that I would catch on. One thing that held me back was finances, but I'm trusting God on this one. Even though it will be tight I'm going to make it through with his help.
The making of this decision has greatly affected me. I find myself feeling free, free to be myself. There is no way to really say how this works but I know that now there is a light. There is more then just going through each day. When there is no vision the people perish; Proverbs 29:18. How little did I realize how true this is. If there is nothing to shoot for, no goal to aim for then what are we doing? Even a little goal can make a big difference.
I have another long term goal that I have started, and it's called College. Yep, here I go again. I'm excited because I want to get my Bachelors in something I love. Communication. It might seem weird, but from the moment I took my first communication class I loved it. I wanted to change my major then and there, and I should have. It took me a little while longer to get to the place of starting again.
It's not always going to be easy, and here I go juggling so many things. I could list them all but the thing is that I enjoy what I do. I enjoy my job. I love my kids, my boyfriend, my family. I love my church, my second family. I love writing. I love learning. These things help make my life full, and even with the stress and chaos of it all I wouldn't trade any of them.
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