Happily Ever After

Once upon a time, I believed in fairy tales and thought they would come true. My journey through adulthood quickly taught me that there was more to life than fairy tales. Plus, if you ever really read a fairy tale, they are pretty messed up. The heroine dies or some evil befalls her, it isn't all happily ever after.  
Once upon a time I wrote a blog, a blog that was sure that there was no happily ever after. I can remember that I was sitting in my bedroom, in my parents house, a single mother with two kids, working full time in a job that was stressful to say the least. When I wrote that blog I was convinced that there was nothing in life to be completely happy about. I was convinced that even if you found someone, there was no happily ever after.
This blog is a retraction of that. I truly did not know how good life could be when you have the right people in it, and you have hope for your future. I have often lived by the verse Jeremiah 29:11, "for I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you, not to harm you, to give you a hope and a future," (NIV). It saw me through many hard times, but there was a while when I didn't see the hope in anything.
I have come a long way since then, and I am still working on me. My marriage to a wonderful man has not only given me a happily ever after, but reminded me that there is something to look forward to. Now I will tell you that marriage is not the answer to all of life's problems. There will still be disagreements and marriage is not a fix all. It is an amazing start to a wonderful journey.
I'm still in the newlywed phase. I can't help but stare at my ring finger and smile when I see the symbol of our commitment. I am excited about this new chapter in our lives and look forward to what tomorrow may bring. 

What now God?

There comes a place in life where you have faced some of your giants and come out on the other side. There are scars, there are pains, but you went through it and you survived. I look back and see how far I've come and I continue to be amazed at what God has done in my life. The only thing for me to do is to keep moving forward and living this life I have been blessed with.
We don't often think of trying circumstances building of character when we are going through them but when we look back it's those moments that shape us and make us into who we are. So here I stand on the other side of my trials, my Jordan river and wonder what now. It's those days when everything is going just great and the world is a happy place when you wonder, what's going to happen next? It's not easy to sit and just live in such joy because without trials our lives seem off kilter. It's not that I want to go through trials but each time I do it makes me that much better.
It only took a couple of days of wondering what's next until things started to go awry.
In one day two of my dearest friends each lost someone who was close to them, in different ways. Each of them knew it was coming but it didn't lessen the pain or take away the hurt. It hurt my heart because I wanted to be there for them but there was only so much I could do, and I felt like it wasn't enough. A few days later it seemed that there was still more. My weekend had been great, I was in a great mood Monday morning and then it hit me. A migraine like a load of bricks, I have struggled with them throughout my life and often I just push through them but this one was different. I was laid out flat on my couch until I couldn't put off my schoolwork anymore. I did my homework and got it in before it was due, all the while wanting to puke. Needless to say I did not make it to school the next morning. I seemed to be fine if I didn't sit up.
Only after 4 days did I start to feel better and you would think that would be the end of it. That night turned out to be the busiest night at work I had seen in all the time I had been there. One thing would come up, then another and it just seemed to be never ending. A call would come up and I would think to myself what now? I know that I didn't sign up for an easy job and I knew that there would be days that would be stressful. Did I quit? Of course not. Did I want to give up? Absolutely not! I just kept doing what I knew to do, with the tools I had been given.
That's how it is with everyday, there are good days and bad. We don't know what is going to happen next or how it will effect us but we press on. I know it won't always be easy but I keep going and keep sharing my life because I live with the hope that maybe, just maybe someone will hear my story and it will help them somehow.
As I sit here and write the migraine throbs in the back of my head reminding me that it has not gone away. Perhaps I have come to expect pain in life so I just ignore it and continue on. The one thing I won't let it do is get me down. It may take me down physically, and I may whine a little but it's okay. I have so much to be thankful for in my life that these things can't take away the joy that I have. God is doing great and wonderful things in my life and I am excited to see what happens. I stand on the promise that was given to me from Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I'm starting to see that promise and I keep holding onto it because I know that God keeps his promises.