We all have things in our past that we are not proud of. Things that we would rather put away then to deal with. The problem is if we leave the things in our past where they are they will fester and become a gaping wound. I've had my share of past hurts, things I would rather forget about. I have had the opportunity to share a little of what I have been through. A conversation of my past led me to realize that we all have different paths. We do our best to share a common ground but we can't fully know what another person is facing.
I have my friends that I care for and they tell me their issues they are going through. On the outside you see what you see and hear what you hear, but how can you truly understand what is going on? I can't tell my friends that I completely understand their pain or their hurt because I don't. I can encourage them and hope that something I say will help. The same goes for me, I tell people what I've been through, what I'm going through but there is no one else who lives in my shoes. My life is not the same as anyone else's and it sure did not turn out the way I planned.
I had my dreams and desires for how I wanted my life to turn out. Instead I choose a path that led me to pain and destruction. I've been able to come out the other side a stronger person for it. It doesn't change what I went through, it doesn't lessen the impact of the abuse on my life. How can you willingly choose a person and then have them little by little strip your life of all you know and all you hold dear? That's what I did, I had warnings and I should have known but my rebellious, stubborn mind only wanted what I wanted.
Matthew 7:6 Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces. NIV. I choose to give my life to someone who didn't value it, who had no care for it. What did I expect to happen? I've heard many sides to it, I've heard those who judge me for not sticking it out, those who have said I told you so, or those who just don't care.
There is no easy answer, I was told I should just forgive and everything would be okay. The thing is I have forgiven. At the same time I can't forget what I went through. I look at life through a different set of eyes, when once the world was rosy, it's now jaded. I do my best to see things for the best and take the little things and be glad, but things are different. People are different, and while I know that we all have issues and a past I'm cautious. I'm scared of making the same mistake, scared that my choices will lead me down a path I've been before. It's the one thing I try to do, the next right thing. It's hard to know what that is sometimes.
I have my friends that I care for and they tell me their issues they are going through. On the outside you see what you see and hear what you hear, but how can you truly understand what is going on? I can't tell my friends that I completely understand their pain or their hurt because I don't. I can encourage them and hope that something I say will help. The same goes for me, I tell people what I've been through, what I'm going through but there is no one else who lives in my shoes. My life is not the same as anyone else's and it sure did not turn out the way I planned.
I had my dreams and desires for how I wanted my life to turn out. Instead I choose a path that led me to pain and destruction. I've been able to come out the other side a stronger person for it. It doesn't change what I went through, it doesn't lessen the impact of the abuse on my life. How can you willingly choose a person and then have them little by little strip your life of all you know and all you hold dear? That's what I did, I had warnings and I should have known but my rebellious, stubborn mind only wanted what I wanted.
Matthew 7:6 Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces. NIV. I choose to give my life to someone who didn't value it, who had no care for it. What did I expect to happen? I've heard many sides to it, I've heard those who judge me for not sticking it out, those who have said I told you so, or those who just don't care.
There is no easy answer, I was told I should just forgive and everything would be okay. The thing is I have forgiven. At the same time I can't forget what I went through. I look at life through a different set of eyes, when once the world was rosy, it's now jaded. I do my best to see things for the best and take the little things and be glad, but things are different. People are different, and while I know that we all have issues and a past I'm cautious. I'm scared of making the same mistake, scared that my choices will lead me down a path I've been before. It's the one thing I try to do, the next right thing. It's hard to know what that is sometimes.
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